When Violence is the Only Option

in Self-Defense

When there is no other alternative

Unfortunately, in some situations, violence will become the only available option to combat a bully. A child has the right to defend themselves if someone is trying to hurt them. The alternative is no viable option. The following are some self defense techniques that a child can use to combat a bully.

Stay Calm and Think Clearly

Panic or “freezing up” is a natural reaction for humans, and especially to children. This does them no justice when in the face of a violent attack. Teaching a child to address a violent situation by staying calm and keeping a clear head is very beneficial. This is easier said than done, and staying calm when being attacked physically does not come naturally to most people. Avoiding panic and looking at the situation with a clear mind takes time and practice. Martial arts schools can be a good option when attempting to develop this skill.

Kicking in appropriate body locations

When in imminent threat of bodily harm, it is acceptable to use otherwise unaccepted techniques. Kicking to the groin area or to the shins can be quite painful to the aggressor, and very effective. The intention is to diffuse the situation as quickly as possible, and a swift forceful kick is a good solution. The child can then remove themselves from the threat of bodily harm.

Pinching

Pinching the thin skin on the inside of a thigh or arm is another effective technique. If you pinch with force and dig your nails into the flesh, it can be quite painful. This is especially effective if they are in the grasp of an attacker. When the offender releases their hold, the child can run for assistance or to safety.

Bending back of fingers

Children can easily bend back fingers. As in the situation above, this is effective if someone has their hands upon a child. This is a fantastic way to loosen an attacker’s grasp and then flee to safety.

Violence should always be considered the last option, but an option that unfortunately may have to be practiced. Teaching a child these effective techniques could be the difference between safety or suffering bodily harm.

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Methods to Combat Bullying

in Prevention Skills

Practical Lessons

There are some practical lessons that can be applied to address a situation that involves bullying. Prevention skills are a good way to avoid a bullying situation. The following are some practical skills that a child can learn to help them in their situation.

Display a Confident Appearance

It is a fact that bullies prey on weakness. Confidence and strength are two traits that will repel a bully’s intentions. Walking with your head up, back straight, and displaying a calm demeanor can have positive results.

Avoid the Situation

Making efforts to avoid the situation is another great tactic. For example, if bullying is occurring on a school-bus, choose a seat that is away from the bully. If the situation cannot be avoided, set boundaries. While maintaining a calm demeanor, speak with intent. Let the bully know you have no intention of being a victim while not displaying aggression. Attempt to veer around the bully without resorting to violence.

Dealing with Verbal Abuse

Words can often be hurtful emotionally, but only if you allow them to affect you. Learn to put the aggressive words into context. Consider the source of the verbal abuse. If this is someone that you do not consider a friend, then do not pay attention to their words. A bully is looking for a reaction, and your response can often dictate their actions. If you learn to dismiss the negative comments, the bully may lose interest. Taking control of the situation by ignoring the verbal attacks can stop a bully’s advances.

Be Forceful in Gaining Help

Make sure that you are heard by adults when requesting help. If a teacher gives you the impression that they are busy or that you need to deal with the situation, be sure to let them know your feelings. The same goes for a parent. Adults have busy lives and sometimes feel that childhood issues are trivial in comparison to their problems. Be sure to let them know that this situation is causing you distress and that you need adult assistance in rectifying the situation.

Applying practical skills can help in a bullying situation. There is no simple fix to the problem, but taking appropriate measures can go a long way to diffuse the issue.

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Gaining a Perspective

in Parental Advice

Parental Advice

Parents often have the unenviable task of having to deal with a child that has experienced some degree of bullying.

The way that a parent deals with this situation can have an effect on the child, whether this effect is positive or negative. The following is some practical advice to help deal with your child’s situation.

Take a Calm Approach

Most cases of bullying occur in a classroom environment. When a child or teen leaves the safety of the home, parents can feel helpless. With bullying coming to the forefront in recent years, schools have been trying to address the problem of bullying. Nevertheless, bullying will likely occur in some form.

A parents natural reaction is anger directed at the situation, and an expectancy of a rapid solution. This expectation is often unrealistic, and a degree of restraint must be applied in this situation.

Schools have stepped up their efforts to address bullying in the light of tragic events in recent years. Nevertheless, bullying will certainly occur in some form. Stepping back and addressing the problem in a calm and reasonable manner can have a dramatic impact on the result.

Never Blame the Child

Unfortunately, in many instances, a parent will assume that the child has some responsibility in the matter. Bullying is more often a psychological problem with the aggressor, and the victim is an innocent target.

Understanding and honesty need to be exercised when speaking with the victim. A parent needs to assure the child that the situation is not their fault, and provide support. Draw comparisons from life experience to help the child understand the situation. A victim of bullying may have no idea why they are being targeted, and usually there is no rational reason. Explain that this is an issue with the aggressor, and assure them that measures will be taken to rectify the situation.

Take Appropriate Action

The next step is to take action. Contact the parents of the bully, and also contact your child’s school. While staying calm, you need to deal with the situation. Ignoring the problem is no solution. While talking with the parents of the aggressor, try to emphasize the effect this is having on the child. Proper parents will feel empathy, and deal with their child in the appropriate manner.

This being said, the parents or parent could be a contributor in the situation. Bullying often results from misdirected anger. If the parents are unresponsive or simply do not care, you will have to look for help elsewhere. Schedule a meeting with the school principle or a school counselor. See if there are any steps that can be taken to remove your child from this situation. Persistence is a trait that can bring amazing results.

Bullying is a problem that plagues our society. Addressing this unfortunate situation in a reasonable manner can have a dramatic effect on the outcome.

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Creation of a Bully

in Bullying Factors

Contributing Factors

Bullying is the result of a psychological disorder. There can be many factors involved, and this anti-social behavior can carry into adulthood. Bullying is a serious problem in our society, and tragic events have drawn the attention of the media. Sadly, this is not a new issue. This is an issue that has been in sync with the evolution or creation of mankind in general. The following is a closer look at the various factors that can lead to the creation of a bully.

Parental Neglect

Bullying is often the result of anger. The bully, as a child, cannot unleash their anger on the offending adult, so they choose a random victim. This is often a shy or weaker kid who they perceive to be defenseless. A child who is ignored or neglected will often resort to bullying. It is in one sense a cry for help, but unfortunately involves an innocent victim. Neglect can be in the form of poor parents, or the unfortunate outcome of a single parent home. Many single parents often have to work many hours, and do not have the time to provide emotional support for their children. This is a societal problem, but a problem that is growing at an alarming rate. The percentage of children being born into single family homes has grown exponentially in the last decade.

Parental Violence

It is a simple fact that violence breeds violence. When an innocent child has an abusive parent, they often will view violence as an acceptable way to vent their frustrations. Beating a child is unacceptable, and needs to be addressed by anyone that suspects this is occurring. Sadly, this is often not the case. When a defenseless child perceives that adults are ignoring their unfortunate situation, anger grows. This is fertile ground for violent bullying behavior to develop.

Mental Health

In some cases, neither of the above come into play. Some individuals are born with a violent nature. Parents who observe unusual behavior in their children should seek professional advice. A parent does not want to believe that their child is disturbed, so they often ignore or dismiss the issue. This is a recipe for disaster. Ignoring the situation could cause harm to others who simply do not deserve it.

Bullying is a societal problem that has been in existence since the dawn of man. This being the case, it is a problem that will undoubtedly exist in sync with mankind.

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